I try not to make snap judgments.  But I do.  And apparently so do a lot of other people.  Researchers from NYU discovered that we make eleven major decisions about a person in the first Seven Seconds.  Is this person trustworthy?  Are they likable?  Confident? Someone worth getting to know better?  Given that, are you passing or failing the Seven Second Test?

Most people fail to make a strong first impression, and salespeople are no exception.  It’s not that we’re not interesting, charming or knowledgeable, it’s because we don’t convey that quickly enough, which makes us forgettable.  And to be forgettable in business today is a cardinal sin that you can’t afford to make.

It’s important to remember what you’re selling in the first Seven Seconds, and it’s not your product, your service or your cause.  You’re selling yourself.  You’re selling a listener on continuing your conversation or giving you an opportunity to pitch your product or service.

Few people know more about making a powerful and fast first impression than actors.  In business, you are the actor and your prospect or client is the casting director.  Casting directors are like any other business person today, busy professionals with a limited amount of time and hundreds of people vying for their attention.  An actor has to quickly demonstrate what sets him apart in order to get a chance to be heard.  In the same way, you need to demonstrate to your prospect why you are different and why you should be heard.  So how do you do this in only Seven Seconds?  Here are five tips from casting directors that I’ve adapted for use in business:

1.  Be Interesting.

Casting directors and prospects alike are looking for something that sets you apart, something beyond “that guy in the green shirt.” They’re looking for that one person to wow them and make their decision easy.  Most people give them very little to work with.  No, you don’t have to learn to juggle or tell jokes.  An interesting observation, anecdote or tidbit about yourself or the circumstances will work.  Weave something memorable into your introduction or answer to common questions like, “What do you do?”  Focus on what makes you or the situation unique and you increase the likelihood of being remembered.

2.  Don’t Ask Questions.

Or at least, don’t ask the same questions that everyone else does and don’t ask questions about things you should already know.  Questions, casting directors say, should be used to clarify and connect—not teach you their business.  According to one of my clients, it’s irritating to be asked to explain his business to salespeople when that information is readily available online.  Instead of, “How’s business?” try doing a little research and leading with it.  “I see your new product line is really taking off.  What do you attribute to your success?” This is much more engaging and shows interest.

3.  Don’t Assume You’ll Get Another Shot.

Salespeople, like actors, often hold back when they first meet someone until they’ve gauged the temperature of the room.  But if you don’t pass that first critical Seven Seconds, you may be out of luck.  Make it easy for people to get to know you.  Be mentally and physically prepared to go all in.  Commit to the moment and give it your best shot.  (Improv is excellent for helping you develop this skill.)

4.  Make Good Eye Contact.

You want to connect with the person you’re talking to—not bore holes into their head.  Shifty eyes send the wrong message but unrelenting eye contact can also be off-putting.  It’s natural to look away while thinking or processing information, just remember to bring your focus back to your listener.

5.  Show Confidence.

If you don’t believe you have something of value to offer, no one else will either. Casting directors want to believe that the next actor through the door is the answer to their dreams—and most prospects (no matter how gruff) want to believe that you can help solve their problems.  Being overly deferential, apologizing for taking up their time or excessively thanking them can make them doubt your value.  Be courteous and respectful without groveling.

Though we form an impression in Seven Seconds, it can take a lifetime to change one.  Remember that nickname you got saddled with in first grade that you still can’t shake?  Now go forth and impress.  Fast.

Building Authentic Rapport

Rapport is something that happens instinctively when we make a new friend.  We get that instant “click.”  So why do our natural tendencies often get contorted when we get with a prospect?  Suddenly our attempts to build rapport becomes an intellectual exercise, as if we were dealing with machines instead of people.

NLP

The need to quickly establish rapport in sales is paramount and has resulted in the development of a number of systematic programs, Neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP is the most well known.  NLP is based on the premise that “people like people who are like us.”  Developed in the seventies by a mathematician and a linguistics professor, it was made famous by Tony Robbins.  While there are many great things we can learn from NLP, a mathematician would not be my first choice for advice on relationship building!

If you’ve been in sales for any length of time you’re probably familiar with two popular NLP techniques for establishing rapport: mirroring and matching. Mirroring involves copying the other person’s body language, expressions, gestures and even the exact words they use.  If they cross their arms, you cross your arms.  If they lean forward, so do you.  Matching goes so far as to align your breathing, vocal cadence and tone with the other person.  If they speak slowly, you slow down.  I assume if they hyperventilate, you must follow as well!

Matching and Mirroring

Matching and mirroring have always struck me as a grown-up version of copy cat.  A cautionary warning always accompanies instructions on their use: make sure the other person doesn’t notice you’re doing it!! Do we really believe that tricking someone into thinking we are “just like them” can create an honest, long term working relationship?  Aren’t prospects smarter than these techniques give them credit for?

Authentic Rapport

Authentic rapport requires courage.  Courage to open up and allow the prospect the opportunity to know who we really are.  How can we expect a prospect to open up about their needs or give us truthful answers if we are not honest with them?  Rapport is based on a real desire to get to know another person, seeking out ways to identify and empathize with their circumstances.

There are no shortcuts to building rapport, but focusing on the following steps can greatly increase your odds.

Steps for building Authentic Rapport:

1. Find out as much as you can about the prospects circumstances, professionally and personally
2. Look for ways to identify with their circumstances or experience
3. Ask yourself “What if” you were in their shoes.  How would you feel?  How would you act?  What might you like to hear from a sales person?

In the end, we can’t “click” with everyone, however I know I would prefer to work with a sales person who is not a bit like me but is authentic and empathetic.  Not focused on copying the way I blink and breathe!

What’s your greatest sales tool:  your website?  Brochures? Referrals?  Actually, no.  While all of these are helpful, the answer lies closer to home.  YOU are your greatest sales tool: Your mind, your voice, your physicality.  If you’re like most sellers, you probably spend the least time (if any) preparing this tool than anything else.

Approaching a sales call without properly preparing your instrument is like an actor warming up in front of his audience.  Once the curtain rises or camera rolls, an actor must be “on” or he will lose his audience.   In sales, your client is your audience: Can you afford to lose them because you didn’t take five or ten minutes to prepare?

Lack of personal preparation can keep you from effectively engaging, communicating and persuading — and the greatest brochure in the world can not overcome that!

Here is a ten minute physical warm-up that will have you performing at your highest potential on every sales call!

1. Proper Breathing: Ever feel like you’re breathing and speaking from the neck up –or even find yourself holding your breath?  Communication starts with the breath.  If you’re feeling the stress these days (and who isn’t?) it’s probably effecting the way you breathe.  Proper breathing is from the diaphragm.  Place a hand under your rib cage and breathe in until you feel it moving.  This deep breathing gets the oxygen flowing, which helps us think clearer and quickens our ability to respond.
2. Power Breathing: Need a double espresso before you really get going?  Try accelerating the oxygen circulating in your system by doing what’s called “energy” breathing:  Breathe in through the nose for four counts, hold for four, and then breathe out through the mouth for eight counts. Do this several times.
3. Release Tension: Often we hold tension in our bodies without being consciously aware of it.  Tension is the enemy of good communication; it keeps you from communicating as freely as you could.  Do a tension check to get rid of any hidden tension by starting with your head and working your way down to your feet, tensing up each muscle group as you go.  Hold the tension for fifteen seconds, then release.
4. Energize Your Body: Stand up and stretch; reach up to the sky.  Shake a leg; do the hokey pokey!  It’s true what they say:  “Move the body and the brain will follow.”
5. Warm up Your Mouth: Our mouths are key to communicating, and even if you think you talk a lot – you may not be communicating at your best.  Spend a little time warming up each part of the mouth with the following exercises:

• Lips:  Say: “ba-ba-ba pa-pa-pa”  and repeat.
• Tongue: “ta-ta-ta da-da-da”
• Back of throat:  “ka-ka-ka ga-ga-ga”
• Tongue twisters:  Try saying each one of these several times in a row, getting faster and faster:  “Sushi chef-sushi chef…”  “Rubber baby buggy bumpers…”
• “Unique new York…”

6. Connect Your Voice to Your Body: Make a fist and punch the air while saying a hard sound like “pa” or “ba;” Imagine throwing your voice to the other side of the room with each jab.

Now you can pick up that phone with the confidence that you are performing at your best.

Next week:  “How to warm up your mind & your attitude. ”